


In Bloom

by MistressAkira



Series: Life Goes On: Vignettes of Fate [1]
Category: Fire Emblem Series, Fire Emblem: If | Fire Emblem: Fates
Genre: Age Difference, F/M, Falling In Love, Ninja clan dynamics, Pregnancy, Some depictions of violence, Vignette, Wow first thing I write in years and it's straight, boy howdy, like of twelve years, re: edited as of 5/15/17, welcome to the feels
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-28
Updated: 2016-07-28
Packaged: 2018-07-27 06:29:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,841
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7607413
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MistressAkira/pseuds/MistressAkira
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The first time he saw her, it was the day the queen died; the first time she saw him, it was the day he came home with his scar.<br/>---<br/>It started with death, and ended with new life. A series of vignettes showcasing the various firsts of their relationship.</p>
            </blockquote>





	In Bloom

**Author's Note:**

> Wow so this is my first post on A03, the first serious thing I've written in years, and the first thing I've written for the FE fandom.
> 
> but wow look at all those italics, i did a lot of research for this
> 
> RE: EDITED AS OF 5/15/17
> 
> I own some real shitty FE OCs. I do not own Fire Emblem.

The first time Saizou sees Sakura, he is twelve, and it’s the day the queen died.

He is standing next to Ryouma when the midwife comes into the room where the young prince and the rest of his family are waiting for the arrival of their new sibling; he is standing when the tiny bundle that is the second princess of Hoshido is placed in King Sumeragi’s arms and it is announced that Queen Ikona has died just moments ago in childbirth; he is standing when his prince curls into himself and cries for his mother.

When the rest of their family goes back to their quarters for the evening, and Ryouma does not, Saizou doesn’t stand anymore. It’s improper for a servant to bear witness to the grieving of such a personal tragedy, but no one knows his liege like Saizou does, and sitting hidden in shadows, he listens to him crying softy as Ryouma whispers hello to his baby sister.

Saizou hadn’t thought of the baby as a living being this entire time, but hearing his liege whisper so lovingly, he remembers she is a _person_ \- not just the thing that killed the queen. As harsh as he already is at this age, it’s still surprising he negleted such a thought. Looking through the window, she is small, and pink, and odd looking, but she is a person.

He listens closer, and over the rustle of spring wind through the blooming trees, Saizou hears her name for the first time.

_Sakura._

* * *

 

The first time Sakura sees (remembers) Saizou, she is six, he is eighteen, and it’s the day he came home with his scar.

Sakura is in the Great Hall, beloved doll clutched in her tiny child hands, playing hide-and-seek with her brother and few other nobles’ children when the large doors at the end of the hall slide open the barest amount and a body falls through.

Sakura does not scream when she sees his face is covered with blood as red as his hair, or when she realizes it’s not a body-  _it's a person_ \- and they’re still alive.

Even at age six, Sakura is already beginning the steps to walking the path of a priestess, and though she is shaking, she leans down and takes the man’s face in her child hands that are too tiny to do more than cup his cheeks. He lifts his head at this, and Sakura is begging him internally to remain conscious, to keep his heart pumping. She is brushing his hair away from his face to assess the damage when she realizes there is only one red eye staring back at her: the other is slashed in two.

Sakura does scream then, and a servant finds them in the hall, calling for help upon seeing the carnage; the man with his red hair and red eyes and red blood is rushed away and Sakura cries.

* * *

 

The first time Sakura sees him since then, it’s been over a year, and she knows who he is now.

She is out in the garden, playing in the falling  _sakura_  blossoms of springtime, and he is training a short distance over, silent in his efforts but the red blur of his movements between the trees is hard to miss. Sakura gathers her courage and wonders over from under her tree to where he is, and if he knows she’s there, he makes no sign of it.

Sakura is seven, almost eight, but she knows what beauty is. And she thinks he’s beautiful, tall and muscular like a statue, chiseled face hidden behind that strange mask, flickering with ferocity, a human flame. He is Saizou the Fifth, her big brother’s retainer, his crimson shadow.

When he turns his head, she can see the long gruesome scar running from the center of his forehead disappearing into the mask at the top of his cheek, bisecting the left side of his beautiful face, and the milky white of his blind eye. She involuntarily gasps then, and he whirls around to stare at her. Making a startled noise, she can only meet his seeing eye for a moment before turning and running back to the  _sakura_  grove.

* * *

 

The first time Sakura saves his life, it’s years later and he has failed a mission almost as badly as the one that cost him his eye when he went after his father’s murderer.

Stumbling through the trees of a forest he has completely disregarded the layout of, bleeding out, bones broken, brain shaming his failure and heart scorning him for it, he practically falls at the feet of the second princess of Hoshido.

_S-Saizo?_

She squeaks his name in surprise and he doesn’t immediately register it as her in the darkness, but then her arms are around his shoulders and she’s lifting his face in her hands for the second time in his life.

_Lady Sakura? How..._

_Oh no! You're hurt! Wait just one moment and I'll heal you._

But he pushes her off, chest heaving but his heart uncompromising. He has come a long way from the child who forgot the princess was a person, until her brother -his liege- reminded him. How Ryouma cherished her; how could he let his lord’s sister die for such a stupid reason as saving him?

_There's no time. My pursuers may catch up to me at any moment. Go, quickly! You must get back to camp!_

To his surprise, her resolve has strengthened since she was the child that screamed upon finding him ruined on the floor, and even with her delicate frame, Sakura is helping him up with an arm around his midsection and guiding him back in the likely direction of camp. She’s mumbling, shaking with nervousness, but pulls him along as if he isn’t dying on her priestess robes.

He feels hopelessly pathetic. _Ugh... if anything happens to you, how will I ever look Lord Ryoma in the eye again?_

She laughs then, the forest lighting up around them with the graceful noise. Saizou shushes her immediately, all too aware of their pursuers, and when she speaks again, she stutters.

_S-sorry... It occurred to me it won't matter if you can look him in the eye when you're dead. I-I guess I'm a little punchy..._

Saizou snorts. _No comment._

His concentration is slipping as they stumble away, and even though she keeps telling him not to squirm, Saizou is not entirely there. He’s thinking to himself in this bleary state of mind that this is probably not the first time she has saved his life; she was always there behind the front lines, healing soldiers of their wounds and encouraging them from the sidelines. It was probable she had even healed him; probable she had even saved him once or twice before.

He doesn’t know how he feels about this when she lays him down on his uninjured side to begin tending to him, and Saizou blacks out. 

* * *

 

The first time Saizou dares to walk into a bakery, it’s for Sakura. Or rather, it’s for her reparations for saving his life (again).

He can smell the horrid scent of sugar from all the way down the street, and it’s not the first time he has debated turning back and sending Kagerou, or literally anyone else but him, to fetch this. But if Saizou has anything, it’s pride, and he pushes on to the bakery and walks in.

The scent assails him almost instantaneously, but not before the shocked looks of the bake staff do. Saizou knows how out of place he looks in the small bakery, scar fierce, mask mysterious if not a bit discerning, dressed in his red and black ninja gear. He wouldn’t be surprised if he happened to accidentally blow the whole bakery up by just brushing against the walls, his pockets lined with all manner of explosives and  _doka_ , fire starting implements, out of habit. As much as that was an appealing thought, Saizou instead steeled himself and stalks to the counter.

Ordering the cake- Sakura’s favorite, he had stealthy inquired upon- and baring the stares of the bakery a bit longer, he cannot escape fast enough back into the street, holding the dessert closely to his chest despite the nausea he feels. He’s not sure if it’s the close proximity to death by sugary sweetness or the thought of presenting this to Sakura that is making him dizzy.

* * *

 

The first time Sakura sees Saizou blush it’s when she says that she is happy she saved his life. It is also the first time he has ever given her a gift.

The second time she sees him blush is in the same conversation, when she calls him cute, to his eternal bewilderment, when she imagines him buying sweets- for her- and this time she can’t control her laughter.

Sakura is sure she looks a fool with how much she finds herself laughing in front of him, but his face turns even more red, and she is too happy to stop herself.

_Heeheehee...oh, s-sorry. I keep giggling in front of you. Oh! Instead of keeping them all to myself, why don't I share these with you?_

_N-no! That's all right. I-_

She made to open the box, excited at the prospect of sharing with him-  _But there's way too much for me to eat alone._

But a moment later, he’s disappearing into a puff of purple smoke, and she’s left with the echoes of her own laughter. Sakura whipped her head left and right, searching for any sign of him, there is nothing to suggest the red ninja was ever even here. Holding the cake box to her chest, she can’t ignore how startled she was at the sudden exit, nor can she ignore the small twinge of pain that pokes at her heart with sharp fingers.

_W-was it something I said?_

* * *

 

That sharp tinge of pain does not go away. Nor does the guilt. The first time Sakura gives him a present is because she think’s she’s offended him.

The cake was delicious, colored pink and filled with sweet red bean paste and topped with chocolate flowers, but it was disappointing to eat it alone. She’d even cut off a piece from the middle- the best part, in her opinion- to save for him, but she’d gotten caught up in how good it was, she couldn’t help herself and ate it all up. Which made her feel worse.

The next day, she is resolute on chasing him down and apologizing- something that is daunting for both the idea of _chasing down a ninja,_ and that she has wronged him in some way without even realizing it. It’s embarrassing and silly, but she knows she must carry through with it.

Corrin’s astral castle had cherry blossoms that bloomed endlessly, and she picked an armful of them, plus some of the wildflowers Orochi had planted in the daikon patch, fashioning them into a bouquet for him to say she was sorry. Then, with one last moment to steel her nerves, she set off to find him.

Surprisingly, he’s easy to find- in the staves store, standing staff straight behind the counter and looking like he’d rather be anywhere but there. The bell on the door chimes when she walks in and his eyes snap immediately to her’s.

_Lady Sakura?_

She took a deep breath, closed her eyes, and with every ounce of bravery in her soul, thrust the bunch of flowers at him. _Um... I'm sorry._

Saizou glanced between the flowers and her for a moment, finally settling on her with his single crimson eye. _Hm? What is there to apologize for? It might help if you could look me in the eye when you answered._

 _Last time we talked, you disappeared into a cloud of smoke... I offended you in some way, didn't I?_ The words were easy enough to choke out, but once she thought about it more, Sakura was struck by a lightning bolt of shame. _Was it the giggling? I bet it was the giggling._

His face was uncompromising, but his voice was full of surprise. _What? No._

His response startled her, and she looked up without thinking out it. _Then why...?,_ she pleaded.

He sighed, looking everywhere but at her. _I... um... ...I despise sweets. I get nauseous just from the scent of them._

 _Wha-!_ She gasped. He neglected to look in any way vaguely in her general direction, and Sakura could now see why- his face was as red as his hair.

_I'm ashamed to react so strongly. It's not becoming of the high prince's retainer._

_Oh, I think it's fine! Even a little... cute._

The words just slipped out. Between the full blush on his cheeks, and the way he couldn’t even look at her, and just the _idea_ one of the strongest men in Hoshido was afraid of sweets was just… so cute.

She didn’t even have the chance to berate herself over it, Saizou was looking directly at her now in a state of near shock. _C...cute?_

 _Very cute. It's wonderful to see a more human side of you._ A giggle was rising in her throat again, but she pushed it back down, if only to save Saizou the further embarrassment (she was  _definitely not_ laughing _at_ him). _And it was so sweet of you to buy me something you dislike so much. It's very generous!_

Saizou coughed, readjusting his scarf as if he just wanted something to do with his hands. _I'm delighted that you're pleased, Lady Sakura._

 _Thank you very much, Saizou._ She looks at her own hands, suddenly shy at his sentiments, but remembers the flowers. She steps closer to the counter, holding out the flowers again. _I-I’d also like to thank you for the c-cake again… and I’d be thankful if you accepted these from me in return._

Saizou blinks at the flowers like he’d forgotten she’d shoved them in his face only a few moments before, but takes them with a sigh. She can feel the heaviness of his grasp before the bouquet has even left her fingers, and a delicate branch of cherry blossoms ends up cracking in his hand. They both heard the snap, watched the petals fall limply to the counter, and she can see Saizou’s jaw set from behind the mask.

 _Forgive me. I’m not used to… holding something so delicate._ He’s holding the flowers as one might hold a tiny hostage, looking once again like he’d rather have anything (else) to do with his hands.

Sakura is not bothered though. Seeing his uncertainty, his humanness yet again, she can’t help but smile. _T-that’s okay. I can teach you how to care for them. Oh! First things first, we should probably find a vase to put them in~_

Bizarrely, Saizou doesn’t huff or sigh, but rather chuckles. His death grip on the flowers doesn’t lesson, but he gestures with his hand towards the door. _Let’s go look for it then. I wouldn’t be surprised if Corrin’s prissy butler ought to have brought one._

_Okay!_

* * *

 

The first person Saizou needs to tell that he plans to court Lady Sakura is her brother, his lord, High Prince Ryouma, and Saizou wonders if this is what terror feels like.

He is pacing in the corner of Ryouma’s study when his lord finally asks what troubles him.

 _You’re going to set fire to the tatami if you keep up with that. Personally I find them rather bland anyway, however,_ Ryouma looked up from his desk with a thoughtful look his eye. _I know something is bothering you. Speak it freely, my friend._

And at his words, Saizou nearly throws down a  _metsubishi_  to simply disappear and be done with this. But he respects his lord far too much for such a cowardly way of avoidance, and stops pacing to face Ryouma with a brave face.

 _My lord, this is a far reaching request as ever I’ve had one, but I will be plain with you._ He takes a deep breath, his heart aflutter like the petals of her namesake, and he can make no plainer the depths of what he feels for Lady Sakura. _I have a wish to court your sister, Lady Sakura. She has saved my life more times than I count, and more than that…_ he remembers the night of her birth, how without Ryouma, he would’t have ever seen her as more than a tiny, insignificant thing that made his liege cry. _She is one of the most honest and kind people I’ve ever met. I do not deserve her, but I cannot help the way I feel, and I ask you to grant me mercy, my lord, and the chance to make her happy to the best of my ability._

Ryouma’s face does not change outwardly, but he _is_ quiet for an uncharacteristically amount of time, and Saizou’s quick eyes can pick up the way his fingers twitch towards  _Raijinto_. A million punishments float through Saizou’s mind in the meantime, each worse than the last, and he likely deserves any of them.

And then the silence is broken with Ryouma sighing. _I keep forgetting… Sakura is no longer a child, is she?_ He chuckles. _Sixteen years ago she was just a tiny child in my arms, and now she has grown into such a honorable person._

Saizou’s heart ramps up further in his chest - _there are twelve years between them, gods above_ -

 _But she is an adult now, and she can make her own decisions. If she wants to be with you, I won’t stop either of you._ He takes a breath and flashes Saizou a perfect imitation of a predator’s grin. _There is no one else I would feel entirely certain she would be safe with other than you. Not to mention, few people as worthy of her. I give you both my sincerest blessings._

Saizou is barely breathing as his lord gives him his approval, falling to his knees into _saikeirei_ and bowing deeply with his forehead pressed to the floor at Ryouma’s feet, holding the position longer than necessary but unable to convey his intense gratitude any other way.

Ryouma sits watching him for a moment before he’s helping the ninja up, and smiling and boisterous as normal, clapping Saizou on the back and congratulating him.

_Go forth, and be happy my friend. I wish you both the best._

Ryouma gives him a hearty one-armed hug, and Saizou feels the need to take off his mask to show the smile gracing his normally sullen face.

* * *

 

The first time Sakura seeks him out herself (she’d never done it before because she’d always feared him being too busy to indulge her with his time), it’s to ask him to accompany her to the nearby town; both of her retainers have conveniently disappeared, leaving Saizou her only chaperone.

Saizou feels there’s something strange with this arrangement.

Still, they spend the whole day together, the town they visit as lively as any back home. The trees are coated in gold and red in the real world, not the eternally blooming _sakura_ of the astral one, and Sakura picks up a few leaves to press and make into bookmarks. They peruse the market and shops of the village, Saizou at first walking several paces behind Sakura, but she notice and then slow down and wait for him to catch up, only to repeat the process until they were walking side-by-side. They take turns looking at each other out of the corner of their eyes when they think the other isn’t looking (they both know the other is looking). He buys her some local sweets just to give her something else to occupy her attention, but she smiles and laughs and just looks at him more.

They visit the local Dawn Dragon shrine, a small wooden structure so dissimilar to the great stone structures of Shirasagi, and Sakura spoke with the young shrine maidens in training, lighting incense and saying their prayers together, complimenting them in their duties like a proud mother.

Saizou has never seen Sakura smile unabashedly as much as he had that day, and he thinks to himself he can’t wait much longer.

* * *

 

The first time he tells the princess he loves her, Saizou follows it immediately with the fact he cannot marry her.

He tells her under the light of the full moon, both of them covered in cherry blossoms from the castle’s trees, and he looks her directly in the eye and Sakura is stupefied.

The pink flowers of her namesake decorate him so beautifully under that blue glow, his face still covered by his mask, but she can see everything he feels in that moment. A reflection of everything she feels.

_I love you._

Happiness is to her at this moment that a man as fierce, loyal- adorable- as he can love the stuttering wallflower is she, but it doesn’t matter that they will never marry-  _it's not proper for a ninja to marry a princess_ \- when he says so proudly that he loves her.

_S-Saizo... You don't know how happy I am to hear that..._

Her hands are small, but they reach for his. He holds them in his gloved grasp and it seems as if one alone could swallow both of hers. She holds them as hard as possible, and smiles just as hard.

Saizou doesn’t move to hold her any closer, as if he’s afraid, but he does lower his head and breathes directly in her ear, _My world will be a better place with you in it._

And Sakura agrees. He may serve Ryouma, cannot swear fealty to her, but his heart is always in her service. He may love her from the shadows, but he will love her still, and Sakura will love him from the light and swear her heart to no one else.

* * *

 

The first time she sees him without the mask on, Saizou is about to leave on a two-week long mission, and he’s finishing getting ready in the barracks, filling his pockets and sleeves with all manner of weapons that would make Sakura squeamish if she hadn’t already healed the grisly wounds they inflict.

The princess was sitting silent in her anxiety, the thought of being without him and the knowledge he might not come back warring with the shame that Sakura’s not the only one who needs him. However much she knows she won’t be the only one who will miss him should the worst happen, it doesn’t make it any better.

When Saizou comes back from collecting his weapons, he stands on front of her with a look that is impossible to place. Sakura is reminded of the day he came home with the scar that makes him Saizou as much as the clan that birthed and sharpened him, and even then, she’s never seen the entirety of it, nor the entirety of  _him_.

Before she can lose her nerve, she’s reaching her hands- still so small- to his mask and tucks her fingers under the top of that which rests on his cheeks. Saizou stiffens with the realization of her intent, but he doesn’t stop her when she begins to pull it down. In what feels like a millennium, the mask is off and in a cloth pile at the base of his neck, and Sakura doesn’t know what she was expecting.

He’s a beautiful as she always knew he was, and running her fingers over his high cheekbones, she can finally see the end of that dreadful scar at the edge of his lip. Saizou is watching her with skepticism, his dead white eye opening a moment later as if to warn her of what she is about to do.

Still, Sakura caresses his cheek even when she refuses to meet his eyes, and then she’s gently pulling him down to her and kisses him on the lips. It’s gentle and loving, and even though she’s horribly embarrassed by her boldness, the princess doesn’t let go of her ninja until he has to leave.

The first time Sakura sees Saizou without the mask is also the day in which they also share their first kiss.

* * *

 

The first night they spend together, nothing happens. Sakura is too shy, and Saizou feels out of his element not for the first time in this relationship, so they spend the evening in Sakura’s quarters (Saizo wouldn’t dare submit the princess to his own bare and rather austere living space), sometimes talking, but mostly just lying there, Sakura’s delicate arms wrapped around his midsection, her head to his heart. Sakura can hear the organ’s steady pumping from within his chest, and she thanks every god she can think of that she’s the reason it still beats.

She points out her collection of dolls, one each made in the likeness of her family members. The most recent was Azura, her oldest one Hinoka, and she realizes she’ll have to add one for Saizou now as well.

He makes a noise somewhere between a cough and a grunt when she mentions this, and says the same thing he did back in that forest for long ago, _No comment,_ but this time Sakura laughs.

Eventually she tires herself out from talking and laughing, and dozes off. Through the night, Saizou remains awake and vigilant, and only a small part of him laments the time better spent elsewhere. The larger part aches for the feel of her skin under his fingertips.

The next morning, they both still have all their clothes on, and Saizou is awake like he never slept when Sakura rouses. He mumurs a low good morning to her, but is already pulling away to go tend to the duties he likely skipped out on last night to indulge Sakura. With a gentle stroke of her hair, he is gone, and Sakura doesn’t feel guilty about keeping him from his work; she just feels greedy for more.

* * *

 

The first time they fight it’s about Saizou’s disturbingly frequent tendency to drag himself home half dead.

Sakura originally thought that as a ninja as skilled and accomplished as he, nearly dying on a mission was an odd occurrence- even if it’s what brought him to her- but then it happened again.

And again.

And again.

It’s happened again when Sakura finally confronts him about it, when he’s lying on a futon with two dozen stitches and three broken bones and if he still thinks she’s the same child she was when she cried at his disfigurement, he is proven sorely wrong.

There’s a strength to her that Saizou’s never seen before, as she stands up and yells at him about this penchant of his, and when he becomes immediately defensive to her accusations, she’s shutting him down by lowering her voice to the quiet yet demanding tone of a princess and telling him he can’t do  _this_  anymore.

_You can’t do this anymore, Saizou._

Saizou thought his voice was just as resolute as hers. _I will not compromise a mission for my own saftey. I will not back down if even my life is as stake._ He rose up from the futon to deliver his final words, as if it would have made a difference. _I will not fail again._

Sakura’s face is set, and her voice is fearsome. _I will take this to Ryouma before I let you die._ She is an unmovable object, made of breath and bone but staunch as a stone wall, speaking as if Saizou’s death is not his choice to make.

And Saizou feels undermined and angry, but this side of Sakura he’s never seen before has him shutting up when he sees the quiet strength in her eyes. He doesn’t reply to her, but he does feel his resolve fall flimsy under her gaze. She nods, and though she obviously does not forgive him, she falls to her knees by his side and runs a delicate hand through his blood-matted hair.

He regards her with new eyes. Sakura’s war priestess dress is stained with his blood, but it’s more than that that makes him thinks she looks different. She's looked different since picking up her mother’s bow. She has been different to Saizou since she said she loved him too.

She is stronger now than Saizou has ever thought she could be, and he’s now angrier at himself, rather than her, for never noticing it. He has served and seen two queens die over the course of his life, two queens that were both as fierce as the king they belonged to, and Saizou is willing to bet Sakura will even become stronger than them, in the hopes that no queen shall perish that way ever again.

* * *

 

They wait until Sakura is bit older to continue on with the physical side of their relationship, so the first time they are  _together_  is when she is eighteen and he has just celebrated his thirtieth birthday.

She is so delicate in his hands, he fears he might break her just like that flower branch had snapped in his grasp all those years ago, and every time she shifts and keens, a part of him plummets in fear. But she's strong, Sakura's  _so strong_ , and she holds on and she smiles, and as he crushes her to his chest he loves her so fiercely it breaks him instead. 

The clan has been on him to produce an heir since before he and Kagerou were together (something Sakura was mercifully ignorant to), and now it’s even worse that they are still unaware of his relationship with the youngest Hoshidan princess; but telling the clan of this tryst is only a step down from telling Ryouma in the grand scheme of things that have begun to terrify Saizou of late- he’s never felt this much fear in his life before falling in love with Sakura.

Months later is when Sakura approaches him with tears streaming down her face, happy tears he learns upon threatening to eviscerate the cause of her sadness, and she can barely get the words out, she’s crying and stuttering so much.

_I-I'm p-preg-g-nant._

Saizou can’t move when she smiles these words; he was always trained to see himself as a weapon, only human when it came to siring an heir. Only a person when it came to loyalty to the clan. With few emotional attachments, he never imagined it’d be with a woman he honestly loved and wanted to be a part of his life in all the years to come.

While he is beside himself in this revelation, Sakura is so amazingly elated to be having this beautiful, dangerous, incredible man’s child-  _she's going to be a mother_ \- the tears of joy don’t even stop when Saizou unfreezes and holds her fiercely in his arms.

* * *

 

The first person to approach Saizou about Sakura’s pregnancy is not her brother, it’s not her best friend and retainer, Hana, it’s not even Saizou’s own brother, Kaze. It’s Sakura’s other retainer, the Pegasus-knight Tsubaki.

Tsubaki and Saizou are friends only if one stretches the word and adds an unhealthy dose of pride-driven rivalry, so it’s disarming at the very least when Tsubaki joins him in the dojo one day, and claps a hand on Saizou’s shoulder with a greeting of congratulations.

_Well done, my comrade. I congradulate both of you, and I wish the best in years to come._

While Tsubaki’s prescense is enough to put Saizou on edge, the words are what catches him off balance. _I beg your pardon?_

The sly grin that graces the knight’s face afterwards is the only answer Saizou needs. The ninja gives him a filthy look to cover the rising flush on his face.

The whole day, Saizou is beset by the members of Corrin’s army with congratulations and hearty cheer. Saizou is beyond perplexed at the attention- a ninja’s worst nightmare- he certainly told no one, as no one was even supposed to know about them; Saizou has not even told the clan yet- yetas in he’s putting it off until the last possible second.

He is heavily considering visiting Ryouma and demanding as politely as possible for his lord to mind his own business- because surely it’s him, too excited about being an uncle to keep it a secret- when the only person Saizou has not seen all day sidles up stealthily to the red ninja.

_Hello, brother._

Kaze isn’t smiling- nothing out of the ordinary- when he’s grabbing his twin’s arm in a tight grip. That, however, is inordinate, and Saizou shifts to look his brother in the eye. They share a heavy look, and Saizou knows this is his brother’s affirmation of knowing about the pregnancy, and that he understands the position they are in- how poorly this can go.

The words Kaze speaks next are rattling, _My wife… Azura is also pregnant._

Saizou’s good eye widens and Kaze’s grim look is replaced by resplendent joy, and Saizou knows. He knows that Kaze is free from the succession of Saizou and he can love, can marry whomever he pleases, he’s free to raise his child without the crushing responsibility of what they both must be for the honor of the clan; but that’s not what he’s trying to convey. Saizou’s child will not grow up alone. And though they will be sworn to the shadows that is the Saizou name, the sun that their cousin will grow up in will be within reach too, so long as they are willing to grasp for it. Saizou did not reach for his brother when the responsibility threatened to break him, and their relationship was forever damaged by the mantel of Saizou.

Saizou hopes his child will understand that, and as the brothers hug for the first time in years, the future seems infinite.

* * *

 

The first time their son kicks in the womb- Sakura is sure it’s a boy, and Saizou with little to no medical training is in no position to dispute her- it is the day in which he is to face the clan to tell them of what he’s done.

He has not been back to his home village of Igasato in many years, and the sight of the deceptively peaceful  _inaka_  recalls a forgotten fondness in Saizou. The stone walls of the outer blockade endlessly standing tall; the gardens of  _ume_  and  _tsubaki_ flowers,  _momiji,_ willow, and  _matsu_  trees lush and serene; the dark wooden halls of the  _nagayas_ foreboding even when the only sound to be heard throughout the village is the creaking of wood as a half-dozen silent  _shinobi_ lead Saizou to an inner chamber door.

It is not the first time Saizou has been led to this door- that was when he disobeyed clan orders to hunt his father’s butcher. It had not ended well then, and he hopes this will be the last time he ever stares down those wooden doors, as there’s likely no more forgiveness after this.

The ninja leave as quietly as they come, and Saizou is left to his thoughts while the clan elders are prepped to receive him. It is the last thing that should be on his mind, but all Saizou can think about is that very morning when he was about to leave for his personal mission when Sakura stopped him with a gentle hand. She then removed the glove from his hand, pressing it to the rounded shape of her belly beneath her nightgown, and for a moment he is confused until he feels it. The kick of his child, and it’s a hard one at that.

 _He’s strong,_ she had smiled. _As strong as his father._

It fills his mind followed by the needling guilt Saizou has been fending off viciously for months now. He has effectively been the direct cause of a bastard child, one that will never have claim to the throne, one that will dishonor his family and his liege’s, one that can never claim his mother because should she ever actually marry- the very thought of Sakura with another man fills Saizou with sickness and anger- those children would be put first because they were honorable in birth. Saizou crossed that line between master and servant, and their child would pay the price for it.

The backlash from the clan could be catastrophic: the dishonor in court, the scandal it would cause between the other clans, the dismissal of not only Saizou, but Kaze, Kagerou, all those associated with them removed from service. Saizou did not alert Ryouma to the manner of this offense, and he never will should the worst happen. It was a very real possibility that the clan may call for the child’s life in reparations, one of the reasons that Saizou had put off this meeting so long, hoping that if the pregnancy was far enough along they would allow the child to live.

Be he at the mercy of the clan or not, Saizou had no intentions of letting his son die before he even had a chance to live; there would be no other Saizou the Sixth, he and Sakura’s child would be the next in the great line of ninja masters.

The door creaked open behind him, and Saizou’s single eye met those of the elders, seated in a semi-circle, lit up only by the candles and incense boats set about the room. The red lights of the flame dying their white hair crimson and their faces in shadow.

_Saizou the fifth. It has been a long time since you have stood at our doors- and the only time you should have stood before them._

All the fear that had been building up to this point, Saizou realizes that loving Sakura has not made him weaker, but rather the fear made him stronger, in the way that he is protecting a part of himself- not Saizou- for the first time ever. As he is beckoned into the room, Saizou bares his second eye, greeting them with the terror that had become Saizou the Fifth when they weren’t looking.

* * *

 

The first time their son draws breath, Saizou is not even home. He is out on a mission when Sakura goes into labor without the knowledge of where in the world he is.

But all this time later, Sakura steels herself once again to the fact he may not come home, and she is quiet when the midwife arrives and tells her what to do. But Sakura has read every book and scroll on childbirth in the kingdom leading up to this for her priestess training (and again once she found out she was pregnant, if only for her own peace of mind),  _and Dawn Dragon watch over her,_  she knows how it’s supposed to go, and she’s doing just that. The prodding voice in her head warns her of her mother’s own push to birth Sakura into the world,  _what it cost her_ , but nothing can stop her as she breathes in and out, and doesn’t scream.

And then he is here. Her son screams in her stead, and Sakura is mentally checking herself over for signs of trouble but everything is perfect, her son is perfect, she is healthy, she is fine, Sakura is alive at the end of this.

Saizou gets back and is bursting into the room the moment word catches him of his child’s birth, and sees Sakura alive and breathless in the futon, cradling a tiny bundle in her hands that suddenly don’t look so small anymore when they are holding the weight of Saizou’s world in them. Her tired gaze drifts up from the bundle and meets his, and she’s obviously exhausted and in pain, but she smiles and Saizou cannot get to her side fast enough.

Lifting the bundle to his arms, Saizou sees the scrunched up face of the person who had been kicking at their hands for months, and the shock of pale strawberry red hair that adorns Sakura’s own head. Sakura leans back against the bed and Saizou takes his tiny son in his own hands that seem strangely not big enough for this duty that has been thrust upon him in a matter of moments.

It is in that moment that Saizou the Fifth makes Saizou the Sixth a promise. He cannot pledge to be a good father- not when he has not the slightest inkling of how that is accomplished without the harshness of his own father’s parenting- but he swears that he cannot, will not die before his son has become his own man, no more leaving children to take up their father’s revenge at the cost of their selves. He finally understands what Sakura was trying to tell him when he threw down his life for duty, how now he’d fail his other duty should that same mistake be made.

Saizou will not fail again.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! (/°v°)/´·´*·´´·*´·*


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